March 16, 2009
Yep, you read it right. I went sunbathing in La Union together with our friends instead of doing what I naturally loved to do there before — surfing.
It was a very sad moment for me when I realized that I haven’t overcome the trauma I got from my near death experience last December 2007. I felt a mixture of chilling fright, panic and severe anxiety the moment wavy waters reached up to my knees. I tried to fight my fear several times by trying to body board, with Peter and our friends just inches away from me. But still, the traumatic emotions were too much that I just totally gave up trying and just sunbathed the rest of our stay there. I felt so melancholic…. I didn’t even want to blog about it. I felt so down… I went on a sex binge with my husband the moment we got home.
Anyway, I know this is my blog and I have every right to go into detail about this not-so-happy weekend rendezvous. But in fairness to our friends, who I’m sure had a great time, I’ll try to limit the negativity on this post. But if in case I do go overboard, just keep in mind that these are just my feelings which need an outlet. And what better place to express them than here on my own diary, right?
To drown my sorrows, I spent a while tinkering with Nikki (my Nikon D40)during the early morning of our second day. I walked all the way to the other side of the beach, taking photos of whatever seemed interesting. It’s been a long time since I was last alone with Nikki. I rarely use it to the point that people call it Peter’s D40 when in fact I was the one who bought it for myself, with my own money, with the intention of learning how to take good photos. My blood actually boils when I hear people call it Peter’s camera (I’m very possessive that way). Partly because I am selfish and also because it just means that I never get to use it as much as I’d like to. Hopefully, my trip to Indonesia will change all that.
Going back to our La Union trip, it’s not all that bad, I guess. Despite the fact that the set of friends we invited with us have nothing in common with each other(hence the many awkward silences and tense moments), at least I got to be with my girlfriends and Peter got to spend time with his own friends.
It’s just not as fun for me compared to all our other La Union trips before when all our different friends jived and cliqued as soon as they were introduced. This time around, it’s as if nobody really cared enough to be interested with the other group and vice versa. Or maybe, it’s just my own perception. You see, a huge part of my enjoyment when I go to trips with friends comes from being able to really talk about deep stuff and laugh at the shallowest of things. For some reason, this rarely happened and it just saddened me a bit more.
So what else happened on this trip? I guess nothing much. There was drinking(we came prepared with alcohol and cocktail mixes), dinner at Halu-Halo de Iloko, a visit at SOUL Cafe the next day, a bit of sightseeing at ISDAAN and lots of sunbathing. I really need to get over this vacation, emotionally speaking. Hopefully, our remaining trips this summer will turn out awesome and memorable in a good way.